Leadership is … being a friend when necessary


“Mike, the way to get followers is to be clearly understood”

Brian Gagan,  Leadership Strategies of Phoenix Arizona

Michael Sefton and Brian GaganMarch 24, 2016 As a matter of practice I try and stay in touch with good friends as often as I can.  I have some very good friends in this life.  Some I have known for over 25 years.  We travel together and try to meet two or three times a year.  I am difficult to pin down on dates and arrival times, etc. I know this about myself.  But occasionally I am vague and my friends become frustrated with me.  Especially as our travel dates grow close.  Once I had to cancel a planned visit 2 days before hand because of something I had forgotten about that I could not miss.  My friend Brian and I have enjoyed a good friendship in spite of being quite different.  Our skill sets often complement one another. But in some ways I’d like to be more like him.

Brian is a leader. Intelligent, concise, unwavering. I admire him very much. We worked together as police officers and later by contributing to the domestic violence literature by investigating a horrific case of domestic violence in northern Maine.  His decisions are usually sound, forthcoming and without regret. In preparation for our upcoming trip Brian had asked that I confirm plans with him no later than Saturday.  I forgot to do this.  As a result Brian made alternative plans to meet with other friends who could be more concise and unwavering than I am able to be.  The remarks above were made to me during my telephone apology for being late and missing the deadline.  “The way to get followers is to be clearly understood.” He is correct as usual.  I missed that message in the lead up to the Saturday deadline which I now regret.  Clearly Brian had grown tired of my yammering.  I wanted to meet him for a few days of R & R but was prototypically vague.  By the time my plan crystallized Brian had moved on to other friends and activities – in the lead.  My bad.  I will miss seeing him next month in Maine along with other friends.  But I will be ready for our next visit and I will endeavor to be clearly understood in my communication with him.  Perhaps he will follow me next time.

The way to get followers is to be clearly understood.  I get it.  Thank-you for that lesson in leadership.  You are a good friend.

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